Running in Place

Four years ago when this blog began my goal was to simplify things so that I would have time to be creative.  It would be great to be now accepting a literary award or satisfied that I had developed a daily meditative practice or be so relaxed that my family members didn't recognize me.  These things would theoretically be great.  But I haven't, and I didn't, and they do (recognize me).  The only thing I have achieved in the past year is proof that what I use to think was "too busy" was just a tiny bit of the big picture.

14 months ago I tore my rotator cuff.  I didn't know it was torn until I'd accomplished six months of failed physical therapy and the same number of sleepless nights.  Meanwhile, I was feeling the familiar pull to go back to get my masters.  So in March and April 2013 I researched and in May I began an intensive one year Masters in Education.  Two days after my program began, the surgeon looked at my MRI scans and told me I needed surgery.  It had taken me years to get up the courage to go back for my masters. People now said I would have to postpone or quit. 

In June both of my daughters graduated three days apart from each other, one from high school and one from college.  I cut off all my hair in anticipation of the summer of the sling. 
We were seriously broke, so we cancelled celebrating my June birthday the week before my surgery.  The summer was filled with left-handed typing of papers and discussion posts, sleeping in a second-hand red pleather recliner chair, five times a day of physical therapy, and even a trip to a San Antonio training with my shoulder and arm in a sling. My family helped as best they could and endured my grouchiness, and I generally found that I liked the Masters learning, and slowly gained use of my dominant arm.

I'm two-handed typing today.  I can raise my hand to be called on.  My hands can work together to squeeze shampoo into my palm.  I have nearly completed seven Masters courses, with three to go.
I still have a stack of papers to grade and a homework assignment tomorrow.  I'm still squeezing in time to write for fun, although some of the education and technology essays are creative too.
I could be grouchy that as I was hoping for ease and freedom I got suffering and the most intensive schedule of my life, but I'm not.  I'm thankful. 

Thanks universe for a pain-free, nearly fully-functional right arm.  Thanks family for moving my arm around five times a day even if I cursed and cried.  Thanks students for letting me share a story about a Masters teacher or assignment.  Thanks for the opportunity to see what I'm made of and how much farther I had left to dig in.  In four months I will have a Masters.  In five months I will have a fully healed rotator cuff and stronger arms. 

I guess life is a little like this stone I photographed hiking pre-injury.  Lots of days you've got to let life flow over and around you.  After awhile those experiences shape you and hopefully smooth out your rough edges.