More Than A Spark

That first spark of creativity for a new project burns hot like love. First there is the realization of how intensely you want to pursue it, and once in pursuit, if the chemistry is right, every moment is pure joy. Unfortunately that burning passion to create something from nothing can be so hot that it scorches everything quickly before it reaches a finished piece.

Then it is up to creative endurance to see it to the end. The process weighs on your emotions. Often that devil of an editing brain keeps shouting loudly that I am wasting my time, and the end product will not be good, can not be good. As I work through the quilt top, story or essay, I become so close to it that I can't really see it. Particularly with a colorful, complicated piece, it may take me several weeks to really see it objectively without my editor holding it's nose making a stink face.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not an artistic super-hero. I often don't stare down that nasty editor and get to the end. The basket of unfinished blocks and quilt tops on my table AND the bags under it are a visual testament to that. Unseen are the many partial documents on my computer where the spark fizzled or my faith in them did. My sister got ALL the organizational and production genes. I have to fake mine.

I love that buzz I get when I have a great design or story idea and run with it and can't wait to get back to working on it, but it takes perseverance to keep it going. Real-world chores and interruptions also halt the flow, sometimes killing the enthusiasm for the art.

Today, I deftly maneuvered around the many things that forced my attention away from the fun of making things. They threatened to rain on my spark, but I kept going. I worked in some writing time, and even sewed one more row on my Asian fan quilt. The pieces are far from done, but I kept the fire burning.

Day Dreaming

It's technically summer vacation.

I say technically because as a mother-teacher-writer-quilter vacation time is often slim. My daughters think summer vacation is for me to drive them places, much like a chauffeur without the pay. I spent two hours on the phone this morning trying to sort out the various requirements for getting seen my a medical specialist. This does not include the two hour drive time to reach the specialist. I have written two weeks of morning pages as instructed by Julia Cameron's The Artists Way, but have only written stories in my head while I hike with my dog, Juno. Juno doesn't care if I write, teach, quilt or drive teens; she only cares to have a walk, run or hike. The latter is her first choice because it can be done off-leash, so she can sniff, climb, roll or wallow to her heart's content...hosing off is sure to follow.

I celebrated a birthday, #44, last week, and my family gave me Saturday to myself. More than half of that time was spent stewing over what to create. The day lay before me luxurious, like the stretch of a long-sleeping cat. Then evil monkey mind took over. My daughter was crabby, and I stewed. I'd finished one quilt and couldn't decide which undone project to pursue. I checked my email. I played a game on the computer. I took a nap.

The pressure to use the creative time wisely is the real spoiler of creativity. The reality of time available weighs heavy, sometimes like a boulder, sometimes like a building. I came out from under it like I always do by getting into motion. I just began. I took out Asian fan quilt blocks that I loved (and completed several years ago) and set them out and worked through the design and sewed. Those blocks now lay 2/3 assembled, and I am satisfied.

How do you get past creative blocks? I'd say with whatever time you have, DO something. Thinking about it is never enough.